From the home office in Wahoo, Nebraska...

"Signs You’re Not Ready for Swimsuit Season"

[As presented on the Wednesday, June 20 broadcast of the LATE SHOW with DAVID LETTERMAN, seen weeknights (11:35 PM12:37 AM, ET/PT) on the CBS Television Network.]

10. In addition to drawstrings, your bathing suit requires several support cables.

9. Your body type is “Newty.”

8. Whenever you take your shirt off, a rancher brands you.

7. The only thing you have in common with Michael Phelps is a 12,000 calorie diet.

6. Favorite swimsuit season cooling beverage: pancake batter.

5. Beachgoers complain that your body mass affects the tides.

4. People put tokens up your nose thinking you’re a bus.

3. Your body is 45% water, 55% gristle.

2. No time to get in shape while governing New Jersey.

1. You jump into a swimming pool – you break it.

The LATE SHOW with DAVID LETTERMAN is a presentation of Worldwide Pants Incorporated. Barbara Gaines, Matt Roberts, Jude Brennan, Maria Pope, Eric Stangel, Justin Stangel and Rob Burnett are the executive producers.

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Press Contact: Kim Izzo-Emmet  212-975-3820  krizzo-emmet@cbs.com 

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The radio broadcast rights to the LATE SHOW Top Ten for the United States and Canada have been licensed exclusively to CBS Radio by Worldwide Pants Incorporated.  No person, firm or corporation may make any radio broadcast or authorize any radio broadcast of the LATE SHOW Top Ten or any portion thereof within the United States or Canada without the express written consent of CBS Radio.