"Signs You Have an Imaginary Girlfriend"

[As presented on the Thursday, Jan. 17 broadcast of the LATE SHOW with DAVID LETTERMAN, seen weeknights (11:35 PM12:37 AM, ET/PT) on the CBS Television Network.]

10. You describe her to friends as “a nondescript female with eyes and hair.”

9. Photo of girlfriend looks suspiciously like the Sunmaid Raisin lady.

8. You keep referring to her in the first person.

7. Have a Patent Pending for a machine that gives you a hickey.

6. Someone says, “Tell me about your girlfriend,” you say, “Hmmm, let me think of something.”

5. Your imaginary friend is dating her sister.

4. Everyone can tell you’re arguing on the phone with Siri.

3. She’s never upset when you forget her imaginary birthday.

2. Always pressuring you to pretend to buy engagement ring.

1. Said she’s too shy to meet your friends, your family and you.

The LATE SHOW with DAVID LETTERMAN is a presentation of Worldwide Pants Incorporated. Barbara Gaines, Matt Roberts, Jude Brennan, Maria Pope, Eric Stangel, Justin Stangel and Rob Burnett are the executive producers.

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